pointing me in a crooked line

indigo girls @ meijer gardens - june 24, 2009

2009-05-18T14:57:00.001-04:00

i just got notification from the indigo girls management that i was selected to be a part of the street team for the concert on june 24th at meijer gardens! i am so excited and cannot wait to be at this show. the venue is amazing and it will certainly be a show to remember...

i am so excited!

how we operate - part deux

2007-09-26T12:52:00.000-04:00

well - not much interest in sharing your opinion of the lyrics...

i guess i'll just forge ahead and tell you what the lyrics have me thinking and why they've stuck with me so profoundly over the last several weeks.

to me, it's clear that this song is about a fight/disagreement/argument/squabble between lovers. he said something he shouldn't have, she fought back, it didn't end pretty. now, he's coming back to her and trying to find a way for the two of them to come back to one another.

he reassures her - you're true, you are. in other words, i'm sorry i questioned your trust/loyalty/love. i'd apologize but it won't go very far - at this point i've done things that i know even an apology won't really repair. isn't it true that sometimes we say and do things to those that we love the most that once they've come out, been said, been done, there really isn't an apology that covers the wound that you've inflicted? maybe you didn't mean to do it, to say it, to infer it, but regardless of your intentions, you did do that thing that got you here and instead of apologizing or making up some excuse for yourself, what you really must do is rely on the love that the other person has for you. they either know and trust your intentions, or they don't.

this happens to me all the time. i do things or say things that come across to the one i love totally not the way i intended. but it's not really me that matters in that moment, is it? if i truly love him, why don't i think more about him and his perspective than my own? and why do i insist on defending myself over and over instead of really listening and trying to see things his way?

that's why i love this line - turn a new page, tear the old one out and try to see things your way. see, it's not enough to just turn the page, you've got to rip it out of the book and stop referring back to it. it doesn't help. give it up. try to see things through the eyes of your lover. love him or her enough to give up your selfish ambitions and desire to protect and try to see things their way...

i also love this line: when we collide we'll see what gets left over. isn't this how we discover how much we really love one another? truth is, we're going to collide, but it's what gets left over that shows the truth of the love that you share with the other. sometimes you collide and what is left over is a pit so deep that it cannot be repaired and the relationship ends. but sometimes you collide and what gets left over is two people saying that they really love each other and that they know that it wasn't your intention to hurt them the way you did... but you did. but guess what, all these little deals go down with little consequences... in other words, these things are rarely as big as we make them out to be in the moment. tomorrow we'll wake up and remember the joy that this person brings to our life and we'll forgive, tear the old page out, and move on.

i'm gonna love you anyway.

to the one i love - thank you for always believing i'm better than the way i treat you.

remember this - a favorite quote of mine from a movie called "the last kiss:" what you feel only matters to you. it's what you do to the people you love. that's what matters. that's the only thing that counts.

how we operate

2007-09-18T11:50:00.000-04:00

over the last few weeks i've been listening a lot to a mix i made for bo. (i thought i made it for him, but maybe in the end, i really made it for me...)

anyway, one of the songs that i put on the mix is a song called "how we operate" by a band named gomez. the opening of this song immediately draws you in and i must say that before i engaged in the lyrics, it would get stuck in my head from a purely musical standpoint.

but... like all good songs, there are many layers to it. there's how it sounds, but then there's what's being said. the more i listen the more i'm completely taken with the lyrics.

see how they strike you and share with me what you think. then, i'll share with you what i think in my next post. we love a cliffhanger!

calm down
and get straight
it's in our eyes
it's how we operate

you're true
you are
i'd apologize but it won't go very far

please come here
come right on over
and when we collide we'll see what gets left over

a little joy
a little sorrow
and a little pride so we won't have to borrow
wherever you lead, i'll follow

turn me inside out and upside down
and try to see things my way
turn a new page, tear the old one out
and i'll try to see things your way

please come here
please come on over
there is no line that you can't step right over
without you well i'm left hollow
so can we decide to try a little joy tomorrow
'cos baby tonight i'll follow

turn me inside out and upside down
and try to see things my way
turn a new page, tear the old one out
and i'll try to see things your way

the way that we've been speaking now
i swear that we'd be friends, i swear
'cos all these little deals go down with
little consequences, we share, we share

turn me inside out and upside down
and try to see things my way
turn a new page, tear the old one out
and i'll try to see things your way

and i'm gonna love you anyway
try to see things your way
try to see things your way
try to see things your way

disappearing act

2007-09-05T09:51:00.000-04:00

i haven't written in a really long time.

writing on this blog has been a lot of fun and i have enjoyed sharing my thoughts about life with all of you. over the last several weeks, so much has been going on in my day to day life that i haven't found the time to share any thoughts through my blog...

i'm wondering...

did you miss me? is this more for me than it is for you? did you stop by, notice i hadn't posted anything new, and move on? or, have you not been by at all?

i can tell that things in my life aren't gonna slow down for a while and i may not have the time to write but it's not because i don't want to. maybe i'll try to make time... maybe it depends on what you say... does it matter to you?

maybe it's not about that at all. maybe just as there are seasons for other things in life, maybe there are seasons for blogs and maybe i'm entering a dormant season...

i guess we'll see.

once

2007-08-13T13:04:00.000-04:00

it was wednesday afternoon. my phone rang and it was bo. we had a normal chat and then he asked me if i'd like to go to a movie with him. i, of course, asked "which movie?" he responded, "it's a surprise." since i love surprises, i said yes and began to get excited. he told me that we could see it at 7:05 or 9:20 at the theater by the mall, but that if i peeked and tried to figure out what movie he was taking me to, he'd be mad. so, because i hate spoiling the surprise... i waited anxiously for 5:00 to come so i could get home and we could get on with our night!

we had dinner, went to the mall and did some shopping and then it was time. i wasn't allowed to be with him when he bought the tickets. i wasn't to look at the signage. i even kept my head buried in the popcorn bag as we entered theater #13. i sat down and had no idea what i was in for.

the previews came and went and then the story began to unfold. the movie was a delightful film called "once." "once" is a modern day musical set on the streets of dublin. featuring glen hansard from the irish band "the frames," the film tells the story of a street musician and a czech immigrant during an eventful week as they write, rehearse and record songs that reveal their unique love story.

i can't begin to describe the emotion that weighed on me as i watched this film unfold. throughout the film, you learn the story of the guy and the girl (who have no names in the film). the guy running from the pain of a love lost and the girl trying to make sense of her estranged marriage. both musicians, the guy shares his songs with the girl and they begin to write and perform together. the music that is born is nothing short of magical.

my heart leaped and sank, my eyes filled with tears, my feet tapped the seat in front of me, and my hand gripped bo's tightly as this beautiful story came to life in front of me.

go see this film. buy the soundtrack. let your heart swell with the beauty that these two musicians create as if effortless... it is, as i said before, nothing short of magical.

monday morning thoughts...

2007-08-06T10:42:00.000-04:00

good morning friends.

it's monday, i haven't written in a while, and i figured it was time to share a little something with you. so, what to write about?

today i think i'll write about losing friends. it's something that has happened to all of us - like it or not - and something that few of us know how to handle.

why is it that along the path of life there are some that come and go, some that stay a long time, and yet still others that stay for the long haul? are we lying to one another when we say "i'll be your friend forever."? how about "i love you."? do i really love you if i only mean i love you right now, but in the future i won't?

what is it about some friendships that make them last and about others that make them short-lived? why is it that with some friends, you can go months without talking, and then pick up the conversation like you haven't missed a beat and with others, if a few months go by that signifies the proverbial end of the relationship? and what about those relationships that you're really ready to move on from, but that seem to linger... so many questions and so few answers.

most of you know me pretty well and know that there have been some people in my life that i have lost as friends and that loss constituted a very difficult time in my life and has left a wound that really doesn't go away. as more and more time goes by, i realize that a lot of what has factored in to the relationships that have lasted over those that have not is the level at which i've been willing to truly be me.

i don't know when or how or why i learned a pattern of morphing into whatever i needed to be to be accepted, but at some point in my life, i did. when i was growing up this didn't really factor in. i was overweight, i loved the new kids, i loved jesus, i was a math geek... none of that made me very popular, but i was okay with who i was and i had a lot of really great friends... some of whom i would still count as friends today.

when i went to college i was surrounded by close friends. again, some of whom i am still very close with and who are definitely in that "pick up like we never left off" category.

but then, after college, something happened. i suddenly didn't know where i fit. the "believers" that i knew were all part of a fellowship that they grew up in together and they didn't really make room for newcomers. my non-believer friends were pretty much comprised of gay men and although we really knew how to have fun together, there was a part of me that didn't really resonate with them. they knew i was a believer and they certainly respected my beliefs, but we couldn't really share much with one another on that level...

so, i guess it was at this point that i started believing that in order to fit in, to be accepted, to have a "home," i needed to be something other than just who i am.

to all those friends who met me during this time, i'm sorry for not just being me. you met, enjoyed, and even loved someone who was partly me, but also someone who was partly who you wanted me to be. i'm sorry for misleading you, for being less than who i am, and for not letting you truly in.

for the past two years i've been rediscovering who i really am. there are a few friends that have stayed close and who have journeyed with me. there has been one man who has repeatedly reminded me of my utmost beauty when i'm really me. and there has been a father who has forgiven me for being less than he made me to be when i wasn't sure how to love myself.

so, thank you to all of you who have come with me this far. i am better for having known you and i hope that when i say i love you, you know that i mean it.

what not to wear

2007-07-30T11:37:00.000-04:00

i have decided to dedicate today's posts to one of my favorite television shows. tlc's "what not to wear" ranks near the top of the shows i love and here's why...

other shows have tried to capture our attention by completely making someone over. "extreme makeover" was one of the first and then there was "the swan." both of these shows take dramatic cases of people who feel that they are in desperate need of a serious makeover and transform them from the "ugly ducklings" they believe they are into "swans."

the reason i don't like these shows is because by the end of the transformation, you would never be able to recognize the person. they are completely different... lasik surgery, breast enhancements, dental reconstruction, facial reconstruction... you name it, they did it and the results were... well, dramatic. take a look for yourself:

now granted, at the end of these shows, when the makeover is complete it is wonderful to watch as someone who has always perceived themselves as "ugly" sees that they too, can be beautiful. the gasps and tears show that they have carried a lot of pain around for most of their lives and they now feel ready to take on the world in a way that they've never felt able to before. the only problem... they no longer look like themselves and they've left portions of themselves on the operating room floor or added parts that were never there to begin with... beautiful now? sure, but... something seems inherently wrong with what it took to get there...

what i love about "what not to wear" is that one of their mantras is "dress your body the way it is now." sure, you may want to lose 50 pounds or tone up that tummy a bit, but guess what? you don't have that body now, and you don't have to wait to be "beautiful" until you reach those goals. you have what it takes right now... you just have to learn how to believe it!

the results are almost always still quite a bit dramatic. the people who are chosen for this show are usually equally as certain of their lack of beauty and are ALWAYS amazed at how much knowing what clothes to buy, how to style their hair, and how to wear makeup can really make a difference. to borrow a favorite phrase... "a little bit, goes a long way!"

so, here's to stacy, clinton, nick and carmendie... thanks for showing us that we are all beautiful and that it only takes a little self-confidence, belief, the right clothes, and some makeup to prove it!

62 reasons i love my mom

2007-07-25T10:10:00.000-04:00

today is my mother's 62nd birthday. so in her honor... here are the top 62 reasons (in no particular order) that i love her!

62. she has a library card
61. she'll answer to the name "houda"
60. she refers to herself as "the pigmy"
59. she still knows her SAT score
58. she understands that sometimes you just need some breyers mint chocolate chip
57. she knows how to make kool clay
56. she rode a roller coaster with my nephew just so they could "get it off their chests"
55. she doesn't mind acting as the bank of mom from time to time
54. she thinks that when she poots it's cute but when my dad poots it's disgusting
53. when she's giving directions, the end destination may be due south, but if you have to go north first, she'll point north and say "it's that way" because that's the way you have to start out going to get there
52. she thought it would cost $16 for 4 people to watch a $4 pay-per-view movie
51. she got equally confused with me when we tried to exchange $6 in change for 6 actual dollars
50. she buys bananas in advance of me visiting so that they'll rot and she can make banana cupcakes for me
49. she always wants a salad
48. she loves music
47. 47 is the random number she uses when she can't think of a number - "there were like 47 people in line!"
46. she remembers where she parked by referencing her age or bra size
45. because she thought it was important to remind us that "it gets dark at night"
44. she has only said the "f" word like 3 times in her life
43. when she laughs "water comes out her eyes"
42. if she's walking when she laughs, she has to stop and cross her legs
41. she made a bad word while playing speed scrabble and then acted all innocent about it
40. she actually thinks my sister quitting smoking would be a good birthday present
39. this will be a good birthday present, to her
38. she knew just how to coax me out of hiding when i was little
37. she once made an entire matching wardrobe for me and my barbies
36. she held the bucket (if you don't know this story - you really should hear it sometime)
35. she believed me when i said my sister hit me - even though i hit myself and blamed it on my sister
34. she has supported every decision i have ever made - because she taught me how to make good ones
33. she taught me that everything has a place and everything should be in its place
32. she taught me that it really makes a difference if you make your bed every morning
31. she answers the phone "ya" when it's her mom
30. she made "old mcdonald" the song that the phone rings when trudy calls because trudy is a preschool teacher
29. it was one of the biggest adventures in her life when we snuck in to the pool at a posh resort in florida
28. she talks to me on ichat
27. she loves my dad - a lot
26. we used to be at each other's throats when i was a kid and now she's one of my best friends
25. she didn't kill me when my cat clawed her drapes and wallpaper
24. she didn't kill me for any of the stupid things i've done over the years
23. the three of her children have put her through a lot and she loves us like we've never done a thing wrong in our lives
22. she believes in healing
21. she's healed
20. she taught me that love is a choice and that it is very hard from time to time
19. she and the praying moms do overtime!
18. she's still growing and learning and doesn't show any signs of slowing down
17. she walks for an hour every day and loves it when i'm there to walk with her
16. at the end of the day she really just wants what's best for all of us
15. she cries when children sing
14. she knows how to work the dvr better than my dad
13. she doesn't really like animals but she raised a dog and a cat for me
12. she laughs at her own jokes
11. she'll find an alternate route rather than drive in between those concrete things they put on the highway when doing construction
10. she taught me how to be a good friend
09. she believes in me
08. she believes in the innate goodness in people
07. she goes to curves because if she went somewhere else she'd miss her friends
06. she finds it extremely difficult to not tell the truth
05. she's crying while she reads this (i know you are!)
04. i'm having a hard time keeping this list to only 62 things
03. she loved me first
02. she knew my name wasn't kelly (another story...)
01. because she's my mom

i love you mom! happy birthday!

it's better to give than to receive

2007-07-24T15:13:00.000-04:00

last week i got the urge to just get rid of things that i don't need or use. it was a combination of things that led me to feel the need - scott's blog about moving, rob's sermon about reduce, reuse, and recycle, my mom's stories about going through my grandmother's closet and cabinets and wondering why in the world she kept all that stuff, and in some ways my own preparations for my next move... i usually do it at least once a year so why not make it easier on myself the next time by getting rid of some things now?

anyhow, i went through my closet and without much hesitation filled two boxes full of clothes, purses, and shoes that i either hadn't worn or knew i wasn't going to wear in the near future. i sort of amazed myself because i just did this before i moved to grand rapids, which wasn't all that long ago, but i was still able to fill two boxes - and big ones.

the last time i went through this stuff i was still in the mindset of "well i might want to wear that dress again. how mad would i be if an occasion came up to wear this western shirt and i gave it away? this was an expensive leather jacket and just because i haven't worn it in a year doesn't mean i won't want to - even if it is too big!" well - guess what? it's been 7 months and i hadn't worn any of it... so it was time to get rid of it!

so, bo, being the helpful man that he is, put some boxes together and we loaded it up. then what? i could have just taken it to goodwill like i normally do... but, for some reason i didn't.

i came to work the next day and got on craigslist to look at what kind of books people were selling. (we have a huge collection of those that we want to get rid of too.) something led me to the "wanted" section where i found a post from someone looking for clothes in my size. the post simply said -

"i am in serious need of clothes size x-y (withheld because this is information that one just does not give unless you're talking single digits - which i haven't been since i was in 6th grade). i am not working so i have no cash to work with so the clothes will need to be free or willing to trade with items i have to offer. i sincerely pray that someone is able to help."

perfect. i whipped up an e-mail and within a matter of days i was connected with a woman who needed something that i could give her... a better feeling than one might imagine.

i met up with this woman yesterday. i handed over the two boxes (with bo's help yet again) and then refused to take the necklace that she had made to offer in exchange. she told me how she had been going through a hard time and that she didn't have much to give but that she wanted to give me her necklace. you see, she didn't have anything else to give to me and she was used to being the giver. it's hard to be the receiver...

i smiled and reminded her that it was her turn to receive... that we all go through times where we get to be the giver and then others when we need to be the one on the receiving end. i applaud her for asking for help. she could have just wallowed in her own self pity, but instead she gave me the opportunity to be the giver. it felt incredible.

only a few hours later i got a voicemail from her. "the clothes couldn't have been more perfect," she said. "if i had gone to the mall myself, these are the exact things i would have picked out. i almost fell off my bed as i went through them - i am so blessed! as i was trying on some of your coats i found some change and a few dollars - please call me back so i can send your money to you! and thanks again... i can't believe how amazing this is!"

i promptly called her back and told her to go get herself a coffee on me. "i will! a frozen one with all that whipped cream and caramel on top.," she said.

so, a few days ago these clothes were hanging in my closet taking up space. now, they're the pride and joy of someone who just needed a helping hand and wasn't afraid to ask.

now i'm wondering what else i have that someone else needs...

i miss "friends"

2007-07-20T10:51:00.000-04:00

i know there are a lot of people out there that loved this show... but few loved it more than me, mike, and denise. i figured, why not take a moment to share a few of the reasons why i loved and will always love this never to be outdone television gem...

let's start with ross
can you really say that you didn't like him? now i know, his obsession with dinosaurs and his neuroses about most things made him almost too quirky to handle, but david schwimmer won my heart with his ability to bring this character to life. i can hear him saying "ewwww" and so memorably saying in his internal voice "say anything... anything is better than just continuing to say nothing" and then blurting out "i haven't had sex in a very long time!" ross had some tough moments but he was always trying... even if a bit too hard.

the ross and rachel love story
most of us have had a relationship with someone who we really loved and yet couldn't seem to make it work with. not all of us were on a break and slept with the kinko's girl, but, still, we can almost all relate to having a long term relationship with a best friend who you always hoped would be more. the agony of it all in the first few seasons kept me glued to the television screen and i still make a hush fall over the room if there is a re-run of the infamous "first kiss" episode. you know you love it too!

monica
i hate to admit it, but sometimes i most relate with monica. i'm a bit OCD just like her and i like to live by her "if it's not a right angle, it's a wrong angle" mantra. i don't have 11 categories of towels, but i do keep the remote in the same place at all times and i do love to cook. one of my favorite monica moments is when she cuts holes in the wall to determine just what that switch controls... i've been there! i will obsess about the stupidest thing for hours, torturing myself to try to remember where i put that stupid hair tie... lord, where is that thing?

only monica could "fashion" something for joey in his time of need and only monica would actually bet the apartment that she could win the trivia match... she freaking rocks.

chanandler bong

rachel: "guess what, guess what, guess what?!?"
chandler: "the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending trident?"

need i say more?

i could go on and on but i'm sure most of you aren't appreciating this as much as i am enjoying writing about it. let's try to find some commonality in the midst of it though... is there something you love that will never lose it's ability to make you feel at home? something that makes you smile and laugh no matter how many times you see it? something that helps you relate to the situations in your own life by poking fun at the ridiculousness of most of what occupies our days? i hope so!

shy blogger syndrome

2007-07-18T14:08:00.000-04:00

so, it's kinda like suffering from shy bladder syndrome: finding it difficult or impossible to urinate in the presence of others, either in their own home or in public facilities. this syndrome can also be described as having difficulty under the stress of time pressure, when being observed, when others are close by and might hear them, or when traveling on a moving vehicle. only... in my case it has to do with blogging. (did you know that lots of people suffer from the shy bladder thing? i mean, there are support groups all around the world - who knew?)

anyway...

i entered the blog world at the same time as my best friend in the world who also happens to be my boyfriend, bo. bo was a little unsure at first but he has taken off and has done quite a nice job. i helped him with his page design - which i think is fabulous - but he has done all the writing and i've been duly impressed. you should check out his page if you haven't already...

also, my original inspiration was my friend scott. scott also has mighty blog powers and i have to admit... i feel a bit inferior in this world of blog giants.

i will get over it and won't continue to have blogger's cramp... i promise!

just give me a minute to work up my energy and confidence and i'll come back with something great... maybe there's a support group in grand rapids.

a walk in the park

2007-07-13T09:57:00.000-04:00

it's no secret that bo and i both have had a hard time settling in here in grand rapids. sometimes i find myself wondering why we're here exactly and other times it's perfectly clear... life has a strange way of making sense in the midst of things that seem not to.

anyway, one of the things that makes sense in grand rapids is walking along the river. we both live not too far from a bridge that takes us over the grand river and to a park that wends its way along the river from the bridge all the way through downtown.

bo walks with josie on this route every day - without fail. i often accompany them and i must say that i always enjoy it. the breeze off of the water can make a hot day bearable and the serenity of the sounds can bring peace to a day that has been filled with nothing but chaos. josie loves to try to find squirrels, bunnies, and ducks (who she loves to chase into the water - that's where they belong, not on the grass with her!) and bo and i often pass the time talking about our plans for the day and our dreams for the future. it's hard not to enjoy.

one of the most intriguing things to me is the water that comes over what the locals refer to as "the fish ladder." just before it comes over the edge, it is so flat it looks like a mirror. underneath the rush, there are things that are growing and in the midst of it all there are large tree trunks that have somehow made their way down the river and are now stuck in the waterfall.

it seems like there's some mystical analogy happening there... right before a big change you should take a moment to reflect, and during the shift recognize your growth, and sometimes realize that in the midst of the stream of life, there's times when you're moving along just fine and other times when you're stuck... i think that sort of helps me understand a bit more about being here. does it help make sense of anything for you?

i'm addicted to baking

2007-07-11T15:23:00.000-04:00

recently, bo and i went to see a movie called "the waitress." if you haven't seen it, you should. it's a cute little movie starring keri russell in which she plays a small-town waitress with a penchant for developing her own specialty pie recipes and then serving them at the diner where she works. she's married to an idiot and she dreams of entering a pie contest, winning all the loot and escaping her life for one filled with much more excitement and a lot less of her husband.

after seeing this movie, i began dreaming up my own recipes as well. not only that, i started wanting to bake things all the time. cakes, cookies, cupcakes... you name it, i want to bake it. i even tried a new stuffed chicken recipe out on bo last night and it went over very well! (chicken stuffed with herb cream cheese and wrapped with bacon - yumm!)

let me give you a bit of context as to why this is a bit abnormal. when we lived in colorado i often tried to bake special treats for bo. one of his favorites is cupcakes and i failed miserably time after time to get the box cake ones to come out right. the oven was too hot, the altitude meant that you should change the recipe, the muffin tins i bought weren't very good... etc. etc. i used every excuse in the book, but somehow i felt that i wasn't reaching my womanly potential as a baker.

so, no one would have ever thought that when i tried my hand at making my very own cupcakes from scratch that i would have success. i mean, if you can't make the ones from the box, you surely won't succeed at making cake from scratch right??

wrong!

what we have determined is that i am a baking genius. i know, a bit cocky, but i'm so glad that i've surmounted the inability to bake and that i can whip up just about anything you'd like me to whip up - from scratch no less!

in some way, i think this new found addiction has something to do with being able to create. it gives me tremendous pleasure to mix a few things together in the right order and sequence and with the right amount of mixing and end up with something delicious. bo keeps telling me that this is a dangerous thing and that if we don't find some new friends who just want to eat my creations all the time we're gonna gain 20 pounds! that wouldn't be good...

but man, these cupcakes sure are!

goodbye grandma fletcher

2007-07-10T12:05:00.001-04:00

my grandma passed away on saturday night. she was 86 i think and she had lived a very full life filled with laughter, joy and her share of tears.

today my family is in massachusetts celebrating her life and saying their goodbyes. i couldn't be there for the ceremonies and that feels a bit strange. i know she's not wishing i was there and she knew how much i loved her, but not being there leaves the emotions kind of without a venue for being released.

my grandma was an amazing woman. when i was a little girl, every year for my birthday she would give me $25 but the catch was that i had to go to the shopping mall and spend it with her. this made for some very memorable trips. i can remember running a red light and her looking in the rear view mirror realizing that the guy behind her had run it as well and her saying, "well, if i get pulled over i'll just say i was just following the guy behind me!" we had a lot of fun people watching at whatever mall or shops we decided to venture out to and we always made lunch a part of the date. we shared a sundae at friendlies and always filled the day with lots of laughs. i will treasure those memories forever.

when my mom called the other night to say that they had made it to massachusetts and had seen grandma, she told me that she had observed a very poignant moment between my grandma and my grandpa. my grandpa has never stepped foot in a church service for as long as i've known him and although my grandma dutifully went every sunday, he insisted that he found god in the outdoors and went shooting while she was at the service. as my grandma began the process of dying, she said to my grandpa, "i just have to know if you believe, because if i'm gonna go i want to know that you'll be there." they've been married for like 63 years and i'm sure the thought of being without one another has been the hardest part of all of this for them. my grandpa held her hand tightly and said, "you go and i'll follow you."

so, you go grandma and we'll all follow you. i'll miss you while i'm still here but one day we'll be together again, maybe people watching in heaven.

i love you!

are you ready for this?

2007-07-10T11:30:00.001-04:00

it seems as though i'm one of the few people left who haven't got a blog. sometimes i think there's no reason to have one because i think that i don't have all that much to blog about... but, recently i've been inspired by my friend scott.
scott has a page that he updates regularly with thoughts about just about anything. he has an unbelievable knack to make the most mundane things sound extremely interesting and i love keeping up on what's happening in his life and in his thoughts through his page...

so if he can do it, so can i, right?

i'm gonna try and see how it goes. i hope it's a success!