what not to wear

i have decided to dedicate today's posts to one of my favorite television shows. tlc's "what not to wear" ranks near the top of the shows i love and here's why...

other shows have tried to capture our attention by completely making someone over. "extreme makeover" was one of the first and then there was "the swan." both of these shows take dramatic cases of people who feel that they are in desperate need of a serious makeover and transform them from the "ugly ducklings" they believe they are into "swans."

the reason i don't like these shows is because by the end of the transformation, you would never be able to recognize the person. they are completely different... lasik surgery, breast enhancements, dental reconstruction, facial reconstruction... you name it, they did it and the results were... well, dramatic. take a look for yourself:

now granted, at the end of these shows, when the makeover is complete it is wonderful to watch as someone who has always perceived themselves as "ugly" sees that they too, can be beautiful. the gasps and tears show that they have carried a lot of pain around for most of their lives and they now feel ready to take on the world in a way that they've never felt able to before. the only problem... they no longer look like themselves and they've left portions of themselves on the operating room floor or added parts that were never there to begin with... beautiful now? sure, but... something seems inherently wrong with what it took to get there...

what i love about "what not to wear" is that one of their mantras is "dress your body the way it is now." sure, you may want to lose 50 pounds or tone up that tummy a bit, but guess what? you don't have that body now, and you don't have to wait to be "beautiful" until you reach those goals. you have what it takes right now... you just have to learn how to believe it!

the results are almost always still quite a bit dramatic. the people who are chosen for this show are usually equally as certain of their lack of beauty and are ALWAYS amazed at how much knowing what clothes to buy, how to style their hair, and how to wear makeup can really make a difference. to borrow a favorite phrase... "a little bit, goes a long way!"


so, here's to stacy, clinton, nick and carmendie... thanks for showing us that we are all beautiful and that it only takes a little self-confidence, belief, the right clothes, and some makeup to prove it!

62 reasons i love my mom

today is my mother's 62nd birthday. so in her honor... here are the top 62 reasons (in no particular order) that i love her!

62. she has a library card
61. she'll answer to the name "houda"
60. she refers to herself as "the pigmy"
59. she still knows her SAT score
58. she understands that sometimes you just need some breyers mint chocolate chip
57. she knows how to make kool clay
56. she rode a roller coaster with my nephew just so they could "get it off their chests"
55. she doesn't mind acting as the bank of mom from time to time
54. she thinks that when she poots it's cute but when my dad poots it's disgusting
53. when she's giving directions, the end destination may be due south, but if you have to go north first, she'll point north and say "it's that way" because that's the way you have to start out going to get there
52. she thought it would cost $16 for 4 people to watch a $4 pay-per-view movie
51. she got equally confused with me when we tried to exchange $6 in change for 6 actual dollars
50. she buys bananas in advance of me visiting so that they'll rot and she can make banana cupcakes for me
49. she always wants a salad
48. she loves music
47. 47 is the random number she uses when she can't think of a number - "there were like 47 people in line!"
46. she remembers where she parked by referencing her age or bra size
45. because she thought it was important to remind us that "it gets dark at night"
44. she has only said the "f" word like 3 times in her life
43. when she laughs "water comes out her eyes"
42. if she's walking when she laughs, she has to stop and cross her legs
41. she made a bad word while playing speed scrabble and then acted all innocent about it
40. she actually thinks my sister quitting smoking would be a good birthday present
39. this will be a good birthday present, to her
38. she knew just how to coax me out of hiding when i was little
37. she once made an entire matching wardrobe for me and my barbies
36. she held the bucket (if you don't know this story - you really should hear it sometime)
35. she believed me when i said my sister hit me - even though i hit myself and blamed it on my sister
34. she has supported every decision i have ever made - because she taught me how to make good ones
33. she taught me that everything has a place and everything should be in its place
32. she taught me that it really makes a difference if you make your bed every morning
31. she answers the phone "ya" when it's her mom
30. she made "old mcdonald" the song that the phone rings when trudy calls because trudy is a preschool teacher
29. it was one of the biggest adventures in her life when we snuck in to the pool at a posh resort in florida
28. she talks to me on ichat
27. she loves my dad - a lot
26. we used to be at each other's throats when i was a kid and now she's one of my best friends
25. she didn't kill me when my cat clawed her drapes and wallpaper
24. she didn't kill me for any of the stupid things i've done over the years
23. the three of her children have put her through a lot and she loves us like we've never done a thing wrong in our lives
22. she believes in healing
21. she's healed
20. she taught me that love is a choice and that it is very hard from time to time
19. she and the praying moms do overtime!
18. she's still growing and learning and doesn't show any signs of slowing down
17. she walks for an hour every day and loves it when i'm there to walk with her
16. at the end of the day she really just wants what's best for all of us
15. she cries when children sing
14. she knows how to work the dvr better than my dad
13. she doesn't really like animals but she raised a dog and a cat for me
12. she laughs at her own jokes
11. she'll find an alternate route rather than drive in between those concrete things they put on the highway when doing construction
10. she taught me how to be a good friend
09. she believes in me
08. she believes in the innate goodness in people
07. she goes to curves because if she went somewhere else she'd miss her friends
06. she finds it extremely difficult to not tell the truth
05. she's crying while she reads this (i know you are!)
04. i'm having a hard time keeping this list to only 62 things
03. she loved me first
02. she knew my name wasn't kelly (another story...)
01. because she's my mom

i love you mom! happy birthday!

it's better to give than to receive

last week i got the urge to just get rid of things that i don't need or use. it was a combination of things that led me to feel the need - scott's blog about moving, rob's sermon about reduce, reuse, and recycle, my mom's stories about going through my grandmother's closet and cabinets and wondering why in the world she kept all that stuff, and in some ways my own preparations for my next move... i usually do it at least once a year so why not make it easier on myself the next time by getting rid of some things now?

anyhow, i went through my closet and without much hesitation filled two boxes full of clothes, purses, and shoes that i either hadn't worn or knew i wasn't going to wear in the near future. i sort of amazed myself because i just did this before i moved to grand rapids, which wasn't all that long ago, but i was still able to fill two boxes - and big ones.

the last time i went through this stuff i was still in the mindset of "well i might want to wear that dress again. how mad would i be if an occasion came up to wear this western shirt and i gave it away? this was an expensive leather jacket and just because i haven't worn it in a year doesn't mean i won't want to - even if it is too big!" well - guess what? it's been 7 months and i hadn't worn any of it... so it was time to get rid of it!

so, bo, being the helpful man that he is, put some boxes together and we loaded it up. then what? i could have just taken it to goodwill like i normally do... but, for some reason i didn't.

i came to work the next day and got on craigslist to look at what kind of books people were selling. (we have a huge collection of those that we want to get rid of too.) something led me to the "wanted" section where i found a post from someone looking for clothes in my size. the post simply said -

"i am in serious need of clothes size x-y (withheld because this is information that one just does not give unless you're talking single digits - which i haven't been since i was in 6th grade). i am not working so i have no cash to work with so the clothes will need to be free or willing to trade with items i have to offer. i sincerely pray that someone is able to help."

perfect. i whipped up an e-mail and within a matter of days i was connected with a woman who needed something that i could give her... a better feeling than one might imagine.

i met up with this woman yesterday. i handed over the two boxes (with bo's help yet again) and then refused to take the necklace that she had made to offer in exchange. she told me how she had been going through a hard time and that she didn't have much to give but that she wanted to give me her necklace. you see, she didn't have anything else to give to me and she was used to being the giver. it's hard to be the receiver...

i smiled and reminded her that it was her turn to receive... that we all go through times where we get to be the giver and then others when we need to be the one on the receiving end. i applaud her for asking for help. she could have just wallowed in her own self pity, but instead she gave me the opportunity to be the giver. it felt incredible.

only a few hours later i got a voicemail from her. "the clothes couldn't have been more perfect," she said. "if i had gone to the mall myself, these are the exact things i would have picked out. i almost fell off my bed as i went through them - i am so blessed! as i was trying on some of your coats i found some change and a few dollars - please call me back so i can send your money to you! and thanks again... i can't believe how amazing this is!"

i promptly called her back and told her to go get herself a coffee on me. "i will! a frozen one with all that whipped cream and caramel on top.," she said.

so, a few days ago these clothes were hanging in my closet taking up space. now, they're the pride and joy of someone who just needed a helping hand and wasn't afraid to ask.

now i'm wondering what else i have that someone else needs...

i miss "friends"

i know there are a lot of people out there that loved this show... but few loved it more than me, mike, and denise. i figured, why not take a moment to share a few of the reasons why i loved and will always love this never to be outdone television gem...

let's start with ross
can you really say that you didn't like him? now i know, his obsession with dinosaurs and his neuroses about most things made him almost too quirky to handle, but david schwimmer won my heart with his ability to bring this character to life. i can hear him saying "ewwww" and so memorably saying in his internal voice "say anything... anything is better than just continuing to say nothing" and then blurting out "i haven't had sex in a very long time!" ross had some tough moments but he was always trying... even if a bit too hard.

the ross and rachel love story
most of us have had a relationship with someone who we really loved and yet couldn't seem to make it work with. not all of us were on a break and slept with the kinko's girl, but, still, we can almost all relate to having a long term relationship with a best friend who you always hoped would be more. the agony of it all in the first few seasons kept me glued to the television screen and i still make a hush fall over the room if there is a re-run of the infamous "first kiss" episode. you know you love it too!

monica
i hate to admit it, but sometimes i most relate with monica. i'm a bit OCD just like her and i like to live by her "if it's not a right angle, it's a wrong angle" mantra. i don't have 11 categories of towels, but i do keep the remote in the same place at all times and i do love to cook. one of my favorite monica moments is when she cuts holes in the wall to determine just what that switch controls... i've been there! i will obsess about the stupidest thing for hours, torturing myself to try to remember where i put that stupid hair tie... lord, where is that thing?

only monica could "fashion" something for joey in his time of need and only monica would actually bet the apartment that she could win the trivia match... she freaking rocks.

chanandler bong

rachel: "guess what, guess what, guess what?!?"
chandler: "the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending trident?"

need i say more?

i could go on and on but i'm sure most of you aren't appreciating this as much as i am enjoying writing about it. let's try to find some commonality in the midst of it though... is there something you love that will never lose it's ability to make you feel at home? something that makes you smile and laugh no matter how many times you see it? something that helps you relate to the situations in your own life by poking fun at the ridiculousness of most of what occupies our days? i hope so!

shy blogger syndrome

so, it's kinda like suffering from shy bladder syndrome: finding it difficult or impossible to urinate in the presence of others, either in their own home or in public facilities. this syndrome can also be described as having difficulty under the stress of time pressure, when being observed, when others are close by and might hear them, or when traveling on a moving vehicle. only... in my case it has to do with blogging. (did you know that lots of people suffer from the shy bladder thing? i mean, there are support groups all around the world - who knew?)

anyway...

i entered the blog world at the same time as my best friend in the world who also happens to be my boyfriend, bo. bo was a little unsure at first but he has taken off and has done quite a nice job. i helped him with his page design - which i think is fabulous - but he has done all the writing and i've been duly impressed. you should check out his page if you haven't already...


also, my original inspiration was my friend scott. scott also has mighty blog powers and i have to admit... i feel a bit inferior in this world of blog giants.

i will get over it and won't continue to have blogger's cramp... i promise!

just give me a minute to work up my energy and confidence and i'll come back with something great... maybe there's a support group in grand rapids.

a walk in the park

it's no secret that bo and i both have had a hard time settling in here in grand rapids. sometimes i find myself wondering why we're here exactly and other times it's perfectly clear... life has a strange way of making sense in the midst of things that seem not to.

anyway, one of the things that makes sense in grand rapids is walking along the river. we both live not too far from a bridge that takes us over the grand river and to a park that wends its way along the river from the bridge all the way through downtown.

bo walks with josie on this route every day - without fail. i often accompany them and i must say that i always enjoy it. the breeze off of the water can make a hot day bearable and the serenity of the sounds can bring peace to a day that has been filled with nothing but chaos. josie loves to try to find squirrels, bunnies, and ducks (who she loves to chase into the water - that's where they belong, not on the grass with her!) and bo and i often pass the time talking about our plans for the day and our dreams for the future. it's hard not to enjoy.

one of the most intriguing things to me is the water that comes over what the locals refer to as "the fish ladder." just before it comes over the edge, it is so flat it looks like a mirror. underneath the rush, there are things that are growing and in the midst of it all there are large tree trunks that have somehow made their way down the river and are now stuck in the waterfall.

it seems like there's some mystical analogy happening there... right before a big change you should take a moment to reflect, and during the shift recognize your growth, and sometimes realize that in the midst of the stream of life, there's times when you're moving along just fine and other times when you're stuck... i think that sort of helps me understand a bit more about being here. does it help make sense of anything for you?

i'm addicted to baking

recently, bo and i went to see a movie called "the waitress." if you haven't seen it, you should. it's a cute little movie starring keri russell in which she plays a small-town waitress with a penchant for developing her own specialty pie recipes and then serving them at the diner where she works. she's married to an idiot and she dreams of entering a pie contest, winning all the loot and escaping her life for one filled with much more excitement and a lot less of her husband.

after seeing this movie, i began dreaming up my own recipes as well. not only that, i started wanting to bake things all the time. cakes, cookies, cupcakes... you name it, i want to bake it. i even tried a new stuffed chicken recipe out on bo last night and it went over very well! (chicken stuffed with herb cream cheese and wrapped with bacon - yumm!)

let me give you a bit of context as to why this is a bit abnormal. when we lived in colorado i often tried to bake special treats for bo. one of his favorites is cupcakes and i failed miserably time after time to get the box cake ones to come out right. the oven was too hot, the altitude meant that you should change the recipe, the muffin tins i bought weren't very good... etc. etc. i used every excuse in the book, but somehow i felt that i wasn't reaching my womanly potential as a baker.

so, no one would have ever thought that when i tried my hand at making my very own cupcakes from scratch that i would have success. i mean, if you can't make the ones from the box, you surely won't succeed at making cake from scratch right??

wrong!

what we have determined is that i am a baking genius. i know, a bit cocky, but i'm so glad that i've surmounted the inability to bake and that i can whip up just about anything you'd like me to whip up - from scratch no less!

in some way, i think this new found addiction has something to do with being able to create. it gives me tremendous pleasure to mix a few things together in the right order and sequence and with the right amount of mixing and end up with something delicious. bo keeps telling me that this is a dangerous thing and that if we don't find some new friends who just want to eat my creations all the time we're gonna gain 20 pounds! that wouldn't be good...

but man, these cupcakes sure are!

goodbye grandma fletcher

my grandma passed away on saturday night. she was 86 i think and she had lived a very full life filled with laughter, joy and her share of tears.

today my family is in massachusetts celebrating her life and saying their goodbyes. i couldn't be there for the ceremonies and that feels a bit strange. i know she's not wishing i was there and she knew how much i loved her, but not being there leaves the emotions kind of without a venue for being released.

my grandma was an amazing woman. when i was a little girl, every year for my birthday she would give me $25 but the catch was that i had to go to the shopping mall and spend it with her. this made for some very memorable trips. i can remember running a red light and her looking in the rear view mirror realizing that the guy behind her had run it as well and her saying, "well, if i get pulled over i'll just say i was just following the guy behind me!" we had a lot of fun people watching at whatever mall or shops we decided to venture out to and we always made lunch a part of the date. we shared a sundae at friendlies and always filled the day with lots of laughs. i will treasure those memories forever.

when my mom called the other night to say that they had made it to massachusetts and had seen grandma, she told me that she had observed a very poignant moment between my grandma and my grandpa. my grandpa has never stepped foot in a church service for as long as i've known him and although my grandma dutifully went every sunday, he insisted that he found god in the outdoors and went shooting while she was at the service. as my grandma began the process of dying, she said to my grandpa, "i just have to know if you believe, because if i'm gonna go i want to know that you'll be there." they've been married for like 63 years and i'm sure the thought of being without one another has been the hardest part of all of this for them. my grandpa held her hand tightly and said, "you go and i'll follow you."

so, you go grandma and we'll all follow you. i'll miss you while i'm still here but one day we'll be together again, maybe people watching in heaven.

i love you!

are you ready for this?

it seems as though i'm one of the few people left who haven't got a blog. sometimes i think there's no reason to have one because i think that i don't have all that much to blog about... but, recently i've been inspired by my friend scott.
scott has a page that he updates regularly with thoughts about just about anything. he has an unbelievable knack to make the most mundane things sound extremely interesting and i love keeping up on what's happening in his life and in his thoughts through his page...

so if he can do it, so can i, right?

i'm gonna try and see how it goes. i hope it's a success!